


Knives And Spoons

by moonix



Series: Salt Bros & Roller Derby Vixens [1]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: Aaron and Neil are salt bros, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe – No Exy, Asexual Relationships, Demi Neil, F/M, Friendship, M/M, Pining, Roller Derby, Semi functional brothers, Spooning, The College Life, lots of swearing, twinyards
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-20
Updated: 2018-02-20
Packaged: 2019-03-21 18:01:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,176
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13746333
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonix/pseuds/moonix
Summary: Aaron isn't pleased that his study buddy is starting to fall for his twin brother, but it's happening despite his best efforts.





	Knives And Spoons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SpangleBangle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpangleBangle/gifts).



> This was a lot of fun to write! Thank you Reilly for encouraging me and letting me bounce ideas off of you, and for letting me use some of your amazing quotes in here :D
> 
> I didn't have a beta for this and it hasn't been Ameripicked so... I apologise in advance for any mistakes I didn't catch. Also I don't really know that much about roller derby. Let's - let's just call it artistic license. Ok? Ok.
> 
> Warnings: mentions of past physical abuse (see Aaron and Neil's mothers), mentions of past self harm, small mentions of homophobia (see Luther Hemmick)

“When was the last time you slept?” Neil asked him, squinting down at his notes. It was late – probably – and Aaron's stomach was growling audibly in the almost deserted library.

“Tuesday?” Aaron guessed blearily. He was trying to decipher a chapter on... something to do with kidneys. Probably. But the words and diagrams kept blurring in front of his eyes. He sighed. “Not last night, that's for sure. Andrew took someone home and kept me up for ages. On a week night, for fuck's sake.”

“It's Saturday,” Neil said, stifling a yawn behind his hand. “I think.”

“Oh,” Aaron said.

They both stared at the books and papers spread out on the table between them, then Neil suggested, “Call it a night?” at the same time as Aaron said, “Do you think the cafeteria's still open?” and they started packing up just as a library attendant came over to inform them that they were about to close.

“Subways?” Neil sighed, rubbing a hand over his face. His hair was a minor disaster zone on the right side of his head while the left side was completely flat from where he'd dozed off over his statistics worksheet earlier. Aaron hated statistics. Neil was good at it, but not very gifted at explaining it in a way that made sense to Aaron, so he had to work what little of it he needed out for himself or ask Neil to do his homework for him in exchange for testing him on his Spanish vocabulary.

Aaron had picked up quite a bit of Spanish since meeting Katelyn. She was a good motivator.

“I want something gross and meaty,” Aaron said as they left the building together. Dusk had settled like a warm, sweaty palm on campus, the air still and thick and stifling after the air conditioning in the library that was always set just a bit too cold. “Kebabs?”

“Done.”

They trudged across campus, Neil yawning from time to time and Aaron chewing his fingernails in an effort to release some tension. His mom used to hit him for it when she caught him, but she wasn't here now, and Aaron figured as coping mechanisms went it was a fairly harmless one. He'd seen the old scars on Andrew's arms, no matter how well Andrew thought he was keeping them hidden. He kept a close eye on their first aid supplies and the number of kitchen knives they had, but so far it seemed like Andrew wasn't interested in adding any new scars to his collection. The smoking, Aaron thought, was probably a form of less obvious and more socially accepted self harm.

He secured them a table outside the greasy little kebab place on the outskirts of campus while Neil went inside to get their orders – hot sauce and extra onions for Aaron and one of the small bottles of Turkish Efes beer, no salad and no onions for Neil and a can of peach iced tea. It was a constant point of contention between them, since Aaron insisted that drinking tea in any way but hot was a blasphemy while Neil couldn't understand why so many people pretended to like something as disgusting as beer.

“So,” Neil said when he came back with their drinks, “How's it going with Kate?”

“Fine,” Aaron grunted. Neil worked the tab of his iced tea back and forth and swore when he accidentally snapped it off without opening the can. He dug out a Swiss Army knife and poked a hole in it instead, and Aaron sighed and snatched the can from him before he could slice himself open on the jagged edge. Their food was done by the time he'd gone inside to ask for a new can and Aaron brought it out for them, his stomach clenching painfully at the savoury smell.

He opened Neil's second can of iced tea for him before letting him have it and dug into his food.

“How many dates have you gone on now?” Neil picked up their earlier topic again with a mouthful of chicken.

“Five,” Aaron said. “No, six. If you count the one where I had an allergic reaction and she drove me to the hospital.”

“Katelyn does,” Neil grinned, mopping up sauce with a piece of bread.

“Yeah? How do you know?”

“Asked her. She says it was very romantic. She likes you a lot, you know. You should ask her on a seventh date.”

Aaron's stomach went warm, and not from the hot sauce that was currently burning off his oral mucosa. He took his time chewing and swallowing and sipped at his beer, rolled the cold bottle against his hot forehead and caught a small burp in his fist.

“She say anything to you about where she'd like to go?” he asked casually. Neil smirked and finished off his food – he was an even faster eater than Aaron –, tipped his head back to drain the last drops of iced tea from the can and aimed it at the dustbin by the door.

“What will you give me for the info?”

Aaron grumbled something unflattering and tossed his napkin down. He did a quick calculation of how much money he had left for the last dregs of the month and grudgingly said, “I'll pay for your food.”

“Deal,” Neil grinned. “She may have mentioned that she'd like to try out that new taco place down Perimeter Road. You know, the one where you can get tongue and such. And I don't mean that as a euphemism for kissing.”

Aaron grimaced but filed the information away. He'd already been planning on going to Katelyn's next roller derby bout; if her team didn't insist on celebrating their win (or loss) together afterwards, he could take her there and treat her. She was always ravenous after a match.

It was Neil who'd first introduced him to her, after a woeful night of drinking himself into a stupor in Neil's shitty dorm room while Neil sipped on a single cup of cider and listened to his broken ramblings about his mom and how she'd always brought her boyfriends back to the house even when he was a kid. He and Neil both had complicated relationships to their mothers, but that night Aaron's gin-fuelled mouth had apparently veered off topic long enough for Neil to twig that they had another thing in common. As often and as verbally as Aaron had always lamented Nicky's constant and shameless talk about sex, Neil had been the first person to suggest that Aaron might be ace, and the shock of the revelation that the long years of disgust and incomprehension had a name had nearly sobered him back into coherency.

According to Neil, Katelyn wasn't bothered about sex either. The two of them had a friendship that seemed to be rooted mostly in going skating together on Sunday mornings and a shared love of smoothies, travelling, and watching sports. Katelyn, being a few years older, had just started her PhD in biochemistry and Aaron lived in constant fear of having her assigned as his tutor in one of his classes, but so far he'd been spared.

“How many dates do you have to go on for her to be your girlfriend?” Neil mused after Aaron had paid their bill and they were walking in the direction of Neil's dorms. It was dark by now but still warm, a backdrop of cicadas, laughter and distant conversation around them, the occasional flicker of a bat passing under a street lamp.

“I don't think it's a matter of numbers,” Aaron said tiredly.

“Time, then?” Neil asked, hopping up on a bench and balancing on the backrest with his arms stretched out. “I don't really know how this stuff normally works. When I dated Thea, she was the one who decided everything, and with Jean we never even said the B word, it just kind of happened.”

“It's different for everyone, I suppose,” Aaron said. “There's no rule of thumb or anything.”

“Maybe there should be,” Neil muttered. “It would clear things up for everyone and you'd never have to break up with someone because they thought you were casual and you thought you were – what's the opposite of casual? Fancy?”

“I thought you were over Jean.”

“I am,” Neil said quickly. “I am so over Jean. Beautiful French motherfucker. My point is, maybe you should talk to Katelyn about that. Like, establish what you are.”

Aaron hummed non-committally and pulled out his car keys. He'd parked outside Neil's dorms since Neil didn't have a car and everywhere else had already been full this morning. His car was nowhere near as nice as Andrew's – alright, it was rundown, beat-up and he'd bought it used with what little money he could spare, but it did the job. Most days.

“See you tomorrow?”

Neil threw him a salute. “Can I shower at yours?”

“If Andrew isn't hogging the bathroom,” Aaron shrugged. “Tell Katelyn I said hi.”

“Skatey Katie,” Neil laughed. “Will do. I'll also describe in detail the dreamy look on your face when you said her name just now.”

“Asshole.”

“Piss stain.”

“Shithead.”

“Dick cheese!”

“Swamp crotch!”

Neil waited until he was at the door to his building before yelling back, “Turd brain!” and disappeared inside before Aaron could think of an appropriately disgusting reply.

~

Andrew worked at a night club, which was why he usually didn't come home until the wee hours of the morning and slept through most of the day. He and Aaron shared a small apartment not too far from campus, with two bedrooms, a shared living room and bathroom and a kitchenette, and not a whole lot of furniture between them. Aaron had been more or less awake for ten minutes when his phone buzzed, informing him that Neil was downstairs, and he let him in with a bowl of cereal clutched to his chest and a pot of tea waiting in the kitchen.

“Morning!” Neil crowed, far too chipper for a Sunday morning and the fact that he'd been up for hours _and_ doing physical exercise. He had his skates slung over his neck and a backpack over one shoulder, both of which he dropped on the floor. Aaron grunted and walked back to the kitchen to finish his breakfast while Neil occupied the shower, thankful that Andrew was still dead to the world.

He felt a little more alive after his second cup of tea, staring out the open window at the miserable haze of drizzle that was swirled into the air like milk and listening to the low croon of the radio on the counter that Andrew had salvaged from a dump and fixed himself. Aaron was continually surprised about the many talents Andrew seemed to have, though perhaps he shouldn't be considering they hadn't grown up together.

“Brought you something,” Neil said when he joined Aaron in the kitchen, hair dripping on his blue shirt. It was a nicer one than he usually wore, and the grass stains had finally been washed out of his jeans. He tossed a giant box of PG Tips at Aaron, who fumbled the catch and had to crawl under the table to retrieve it. “Straight from the source,” Neil grinned, meaning his uncle in the UK, and Aaron mumbled awkward thanks and set about making a fresh pot of tea.

“Your brother around?”

“Asleep,” Aaron said. “Probably. I didn't actually hear him get in, so who knows.”

His boots were by the door, meaning he had come home at some point, but Aaron had yet to hear a noise from his room. Neil snuck a cold pancake from the fridge for himself, unpacked his things and spread them out over the kitchen table, then spent ten minutes bitching about his Spanish professor and another ten complaining about his dorm mate. Aaron was halfway through his lab report by the time Neil even started on his still unfinished essay.

It was noon when Andrew finally crawled out of bed, dressed in his armbands, a faded black t-shirt with a stretched-out collar, and a pair of boxers. At least he wasn't naked this time. Neil, who apparently hadn't yet recovered from that last incident, looked incredibly awkward and bent low over his essay, though his eyes still followed Andrew to the coffee machine.

“Josten,” Aaron said, snapping his fingers in front of his face. This recent interest in his brother was starting to get a little worrisome. It was Aaron's own fault for leaving the two of them alone a few times when he had one of his graveyard shifts at the grocery store and it was too late for Neil to get a bus back to campus, but as far as he was aware, all the two of them ever did was watch TV or play Mario Kart in silence.

He supposed Andrew had that effect on people. Even people like Neil.

“I can't focus on this crap,” Neil sighed, pushing his papers away and slouching in his seat. “I don't care about linguistics, I just want to learn the fucking language.”

“Shouldn't have picked it as a major then,” Aaron said dryly and reached behind himself to confiscate the sugar bowl before Andrew could add a fifth spoon to his coffee. Andrew made a growly sound and held out his hand, but was too lazy to move from his spot when Aaron put the sugar bowl out of his reach.

“Hey, so,” Neil said, which never boded well, “Seth's having his girlfriend over tonight, do you mind if I crash on your sofa again? It's just, I don't wanna listen to them going at it all night, you know?”

Aaron shot Andrew a pointed look that Andrew ignored in favour of inhaling his coffee.

“Fine,” he said. “If you make us dinner.”

Neil shrugged and pulled his essay back to himself. He was a decent cook, better than Aaron and less inclined to order takeout than Andrew, though not nearly as inspired as Nicky had been when they'd still been living with him. Aaron missed his enchiladas.

“If he stays here any more I am going to start charging rent,” was the first thing Andrew contributed to the conversation. Having finished his coffee, he was munching cold pancakes from the fridge, interspersed with bites of Babybel cheese. Aaron shuddered and tried to concentrate on his report, but was distracted again when Andrew slammed the fridge door shut and stopped beside Neil on his way out.

“Smoke?” he asked, lingering on the 'k' in a way that he thought made him sound sexy. Aaron rolled his eyes, but Neil dropped his pen and scrambled to his feet at once.

“Since when do you smoke?” Aaron asked, incredulous.

“Ah, I don't,” Neil said, patting his pockets. “Just, well, sometimes. Be back in a minute.”

He hurried after Andrew, and Aaron could only stare and fiercely regret the day he'd first brought Neil home with him to study. He should have known better, after Kevin. He'd thought Neil was safe – but evidently he'd been wrong, and now here they were. He would have to _say_ something. Soon.

Ugh.

~

Neil was glowing when he came back.

He smelled like cigarette smoke and fresh air and there was an expression on his face like he was smiling without _actually_ smiling, and after watching him stare dreamily at his notes and doodle in the margins, Aaron decided that this day was a forfeit and closed his laptop.

“Come on,” he said. “We're going to watch Scrubs and talk about my dumb brother.”

“Hmm? He went out for ice cream.”

Neil looked up, blinking, as Aaron grabbed a bag of chips and some bananas off the counter and poked him with his foot until he followed him over to the sofa. He almost didn't catch the banana Aaron threw at him. Aaron turned the sound of the television down low and tore open the bag of chips, stuffing a handful in his mouth.

Better to get it over with. Like tearing off a Band Aid.

“Andrew doesn't do feelings,” Aaron said bluntly, kicking at the beanbag chair on the floor. “He doesn't do relationships or emotional investment or anything like that. What he does is noisy one night stands and a lot of things in the back room at the club that I wish I didn't know about, and that I know for a fact you don't want. So just forget about it, okay? I know you like his dramatic silent goth thing, but he's an ass and a commitmentphobe, and you'll only make a fool of yourself.”

Neil stared at him, fiddling with his banana. Then he laughed, very suddenly and unconvincingly, and gestured so abruptly that his banana flew out of his hand and smacked into the TV.

“I'm – oh, shit fuck. Sorry. I'm not interested in Andrew like that. Okay, so I smoke occasionally, it's not a big deal as long as my mom doesn't find out, which she won't, because she's halfway across the globe. It's probably just a belated rebellious phase or something.”

“Your whole life is a rebellious phase,” Aaron muttered.

“I'm not going to sleep with Andrew,” Neil said, loudly, as he went to retrieve his wayward banana.

“No one said anything about sleeping with Andrew,” Aaron shot back, scrunching up his nose. “I'm saying, don't go falling in love with him or anything. He's not that kind of guy.”

Neil laughed again, just as unconvincingly as the last time, and turned the volume up on the TV.

~

They didn't get any more work done that day. After a second helping of Neil's spaghetti and meatballs and more garlic bread than even Aaron's stomach was prepared for, they retreated back to the TV to watch ice hockey, and Andrew joined them with a pint of caramel brownie ice cream, though his eyes were on his phone more than on the game. Planning his next hook-up, probably.

Neil, usually passionate about ice hockey, fell asleep through the post-game interviews. His head lolled back against the sofa, exposing his throat; mouth slightly open, the top two buttons of his shirt undone and his legs sprawled out in front of him. Aaron caught Andrew looking and pointedly cleared his throat.

“Don't.”

“Don't what,” Andrew said immediately, popping an eyebrow at him.

“I know how this goes,” Aaron huffed. “You're going to ruin him like you did with Kevin and I'll have to pick up the pieces and find a new study buddy _again_.”

“Ouch,” Andrew smirked. “Not my fault you keep picking hot ones.”

“ _And_ he's fucking demi,” Aaron continued heatedly, ignoring that remark. “He won't sleep with you unless he's emotionally invested, you're just going to set him up for heartbreak. So, _don't_. Don't even think about it.”

Andrew held his hands up in mock surrender and went back to whatever was going on on his phone. There was a minuscule frown tucked between his brows though, and Aaron knew he'd listened, even if he hadn't liked it.

They didn't talk any more after that, and Aaron was the first to go and get ready for bed. When he came back to check on Neil, Andrew was gone but had evidently chucked a blanket at Neil's sleeping form, which was more care and attention than he'd ever shown his own twin brother. Aaron was suitably baffled for a few moments before tapping Neil awake to tell him that the bathroom was free now.

He typed and re-typed a cheesy goodnight text to Katelyn a few times before sending it, quickly finished his last lab report and sent it off, then fell asleep almost instantly, curled up on his mattress. Neither he nor Andrew had beds, though Andrew had draped a few sheets around his mattress like a blanket fort and Aaron had sectioned his off with a chest of drawers to feel less exposed there on the floor.

He woke up to the sound of someone crashing into that chest of drawers. His first instinct was to play dead, arms itching to shield himself from potential blows, but then Neil whispered, “Aaron?” and the tension left his body again in a rush.

“Jesus fuck, Neil.”

“I can't sleep.”

Aaron sighed and felt around for his phone, lighting up the small space with it so that Neil could crawl around the chest of drawers. He'd brought his pillow and blanket and flopped down face-first next to Aaron on the mattress, scrunching himself up small and tight against the back of the chest of drawers.

“Sorry,” he yawned.

“Just don't snore,” Aaron grumbled, turning his phone off.

“Fuck you,” Neil mumbled into his pillow. He was a ball of warmth even with all the space between them and Aaron knew that he was going to wake up with Neil tucked against his side like a child in the morning. He knew, because Neil had told him, that his mother had been too paranoid to let him sleep on his own until way into his teens. Aaron had found it hilarious at first, because they were having one of their conversations about whose mother was more fucked up and laughing it off was the only way of dealing with those, but after the third time Neil had found his way into Aaron's bed he'd had to admit that his mom had probably messed him up just as bad as Tilda had done to him.

“Asshat,” Aaron whispered into the darkness.

“Fartbag,” Neil slurred back, before promptly falling asleep.

~

There was a man in the kitchen.

This in itself was unusual, because Andrew tended to kick his one night stands out the minute they were done, so unless they'd been going at it for the last couple of hours, Andrew must have either come in really late (early) or made an exception to his no-bed-sharing rule.

Right.

“Morning,” the man offered, giving a little wave. “You're not Andrew.”

“No,” Aaron confirmed, running a hand over his buzzed hair. Best fucking decision of his life, really. Andrew was too precious about his hair to ever cut it that short, so even if they wore the same clothes, no one really got them confused anymore.

“I'm Roland.”

“Aaron.”

Roland held out a hand, but he was dressed in nothing but a very small pair of tight white briefs and Aaron wasn't sure if he'd washed his hands yet and stepped backwards with a grimace. To his credit, Roland only laughed and turned back to the coffee machine, which Aaron vowed to clean later, just in case.

“Oh,” someone said, and Aaron turned around and saw Neil looking about as uncomfortable as he felt at the whole situation. He was still in his pyjamas – old, threadbare leggings and a grey university t-shirt – and they shared an exasperated look at the scantily-clad man when Aaron caught his eyes.

“Nice,” Roland purred, obviously eyeing Neil up. “He yours?”

“No,” Aaron said at the same time as Neil said, “Not interested,” very coldly. Roland shrugged cheerily and made a second cup of coffee, presumably to take back to Andrew.

Andrew, it seemed, had grown tired of waiting for his coffee. Neil jumped when he came up behind him and visibly swallowed at the sight – that was some impressive sex hair, Aaron thought and gagged a bit. Andrew didn't look at either of them, snagged Roland's coffee and dumped six spoonfuls of sugar in, then pulled at the edge of Roland's briefs and let them snap noisily against his bare ass, smirking as he sauntered past.

“Ew,” Aaron said deadpan, and was summarily ignored as usual. Neil was glaring at Roland, who hummed as he stirred creamer into his coffee and wished them a pleasant day before disappearing in Andrew's room.

“What the fuck,” Neil hissed.

“Dick,” Aaron agreed, making a wide berth around the coffee machine and reaching for his trusty PG Tips. He froze as he was just about to grab the milk from the fridge. “Oh, motherfucker.”

“What?” Neil said.

“Nothing,” Aaron said quickly, setting the milk on the counter. “Never mind. Andrew's just being an ass.”

Unbelievable. Or rather, very believable – he'd had several years of living under the same roof as his twin brother now, so he'd caught up on some of the things he'd missed, and the idea that Andrew would go out of his way to bring someone like Roland home on a night when he wasn't even supposed to work, just to demonstrate to Aaron that he wasn't interested in Neil, was quite a plausible scenario.

“Come on, you have class at ten,” he told Neil, gulping down his tea. “We need to get ready.”

“I do?” Neil said absently. “I thought it was at eleven.”

“Christ, Josten. You've been here how many years now? Classes start at eight, ten, twelve...”

“I could've sworn I had an eleven a.m. once.”

“You're hopeless,” Aaron muttered, pushing a protein bar and an apple at him. “Get dressed, I'm not driving you in your pyjamas.”

~

Traffic moved slowly. It was hot in the car, because the air conditioning was broken again, and Neil cracked open the window for a hint of a breeze and let his tongue loll out like a dog.

“Why him?” Aaron found himself asking as they rolled to yet another stop, cars honking all around them.

“Hmm?”

“Andrew,” he clarified, already regretting that he'd asked. He found some gum and popped a piece in his mouth, sharp mint jolting through his senses. “What do you see in him?”

Neil was quiet for a long time, watching the slow ooze of traffic outside. They were going to be late. Aaron hated being late.

“Remember the first time I stayed over and you had to go to work?”

Aaron nodded and drummed his fingers against the steering wheel. He and Neil had originally met at the gym. They'd started out as silent treadmill companions, lowkey competing against each other, usually with the result that Aaron was gasping for breath and cramping all over while Neil looked barely winded. One day some asshole had tried to shoo Neil away from his treadmill and Neil had run his mouth. Aaron hadn't meant to get involved, but he'd been impressed at Neil's firestarter temper, and he hated bullies who thought they could pick on smaller targets, so he'd intervened. Not that Neil had needed it.

After that, they usually met at the library to study, but for some reason Aaron had taken Neil back to his place that night, they'd lost track of time, and Aaron had set him up on the sofa before he'd left for work.

“It's stupid, but,” Neil said. “I had a nightmare. Woke up, couldn't move. I honestly thought my father was back from the dead and standing in your living room. I think I fell off the sofa. Andrew was right there, with a knife. He was so calm. Put his hand...”

He touched the back of his neck with his own hand, lost in thought for a moment.

“I couldn't help thinking, he's so strong, he's holding me up with one hand.”

His mouth turned sideways and his eyes blinked themselves back to the present.

“I know it's dumb,” he said, laughing hollowly, and bent down to rummage aimlessly in his bag. The car in front of them eased into motion at last and Aaron stepped on the gas, taking the last turn onto campus, though finding a parking space proved to be a challenge once again.

When he finally stopped, squeezed in between a pink convertible and a car just as rundown as Aaron's own, Neil was out of his seat in a flash, but Aaron caught his sleeve just before he slipped out the door.

“I meant what I said,” he muttered, holding Neil's gaze. “He's not your answer.”

“I know,” Neil said dully, and twitched his arm free.

~

For the rest of the week, Aaron had to stay late in the lab. He had lunch with Katelyn and her colleagues at the cafeteria twice, too busy hanging on her every word to really eat, and met Neil at the gym for a workout, but other than that he was caught up in his work and only went home to sleep and shower. He was loathe to admit that he didn't really have any friends beside Neil and Katelyn and ended up texting Nicky late on Friday night when Andrew was working and Neil was out having dinner with his friend Matt.

Five minutes later, Nicky called him, his voice crackly with sleep but bright with sunshine as always. Aaron's chest hurt as he listened to his cousin's Saturday morning chatter and the sounds of Erik coming back to bring Nicky coffee in bed, their dog trailing him with excited barks.

“How's Tibbs?” Aaron asked, and Nicky laughed and put her on the phone for him. Aaron felt silly talking to a dog, but she seemed happy to hear his voice. He'd been staying with Nicky and Erik during an exchange year when Erik had brought her home, just a puppy with a missing ear and a mangled paw, and Aaron had done his best to help nurse her back to health even though he wasn't a vet. Tibbs adored him, and so Nicky had let him name her – Tibia, because she kept bumping into his legs in her excitement – and Aaron would never forget her sad, pleading eyes at the airport as she'd watched him walk away.

He told Nicky about uni for a bit, endured his questions about his progress with Katelyn, had his usual awkward smalltalk with Erik and finally hung up without asking any of the things he'd wanted to ask Nicky about Andrew. He wasn't even sure how he would have voiced them, and it wasn't like Nicky knew Andrew any better than Aaron did. He would have told him the same things he'd told Neil. Probably.

On Sunday, Neil came over again after skating with Katelyn and they got some work done in companionable silence, notes spread out over the kitchen table, Aaron's customary pot of tea between them. A storm was brewing outside, clouds like coffee grounds and a fierce wind whipping the trees into shape; the occasional spidery crawl of lightning visible in the distance. When it was too dark to see, Aaron turned on the lights and Neil stretched just as Andrew walked in with pillow creases on his face, his eyes immediately drawn to the strip of skin exposed beneath the hem of Neil's shirt.

Aaron shot him a warning glare and made a fresh pot of tea.

They ate grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner and Neil skilfully peeled apples, the skin curling into rose-like shapes on the counter. Andrew made popcorn in the microwave and the three of them settled in front of the TV to watch a sci-fi movie. They were all the same to Aaron, but the visuals were nice enough.

The storm had reached its full strength by the time they went to bed. Aaron lay awake for a long while, listening to the furious, shuddering gasps of the wind and the deafening roar of the rain, but Neil didn't slip into his bed and he finally dozed off.

The morning was dripping wet but calm. Aaron padded into the kitchen for a cup of tea and noticed that Neil's sofa nest was empty, blankets coiled around the missing shape of a body while his things were still strewn about the floor. He frowned, made his tea and checked the bathroom, then the lock on the front door, still in place. His gaze snagged on Andrew's door – surely not.

He made another circuit of the apartment and swore under his breath. Sipped his tea and found himself outside Andrew's bedroom, fretting and hating himself for it. In the end, he knocked quietly and pushed open the door.

The sheets hung around Andrew's mattress had a gap in the middle so that he could just make out the sleeping form of Neil, curled and relaxed with his face pushed into the pillow. He looked younger asleep. Andrew was behind him, one arm draped over Neil's hip, eyes open but blank, like he was waiting for Aaron to make the first move.

“Did you fuck him?”

There was minuscule movement as Andrew rolled his eyes. “No.”

Aaron let out a breath he hadn't realised he was holding. He looked at the way Andrew's arm gently cupped Neil's body. It had taken a long while until Aaron had stopped physically recoiling at the sight of his brother with another man, had stopped hearing Luther's voice in his head talking about _sin_ and _misguided_ and _unnatural_ , but something in his gut still twisted uncomfortably at the sight.

“Never thought you'd be a spooner,” he said, trying to get rid of the feeling.

“I'm not,” Andrew muttered, arm tightening around Neil. “But it seems your friend is.”

Aaron snorted, and neglected to say that he and Katelyn had spooned, once, after Katelyn and her sister had absolutely creamed him at Trivial Pursuit and they'd lounged on the couch after with a bottle of wine and a bag of doritos. Aaron hadn't minded being the little spoon – Katelyn was big and warm and safe, and he'd had a lipstick smudge where she'd kissed him on his neck, which was much nicer than a hickey because he could wipe it off the next morning.

“Just,” he said, frowning at his tea cup, “don't fuck him. Okay?”

“Whatever,” Andrew sighed. “Now fuck off. You're in my room.”

Aaron rolled his eyes and left to make himself another cup of tea.

~

Neil went with him to Katelyn's match the next Friday. Aaron picked him up in his car and raised an eyebrow when he saw Neil's hair – he'd put _something_ in it, but it looked like he'd changed his mind halfway through and tried to undo the effect again. He looked unhappy, and his jeans and denim jacket combo would have made Andrew wince, probably. But before Aaron could ask him about it he'd already started ranting about how he'd been late to an exam this morning because the bus hadn't shown up and the professor had refused to give him extra time or let him retake the exam.

They reached the venue with enough time to spare to brave the line in front of the hot dog stand. Aaron bought himself a beer and looked around for Katelyn, spotting her at the merch table with some of her derby sisters, already kitted up and looking like a punk goddess in torn fishnets and cut-off shorts. His stomach swooped low when she caught him looking and blew him a dark lipstick kiss across the dirty yard. He gave her a thumbs-up in response, felt like an idiot and took a hasty sip of his beer while Neil argued with the vendor about the price of his hot dog.

“The fuck is that?” Aaron asked when Neil joined him by the entrance with a sticky red candy apple dangling from his fingers. It wasn't the sort of thing Neil usually touched with a ten-foot pole. He shrugged and scanned the crowd instead of answering, and they held out their hands for the stamps before being ushered in.

The rink was shiny and polished, lit up with stage lights. Aaron and Neil found seats a bit further back and Neil fidgeted, not eating his candy apple, and refused to take his jacket off the seat next to him even when the place started to get crowded.

“What is wrong with you?” Aaron asked, but the question was answered when someone pushed past him and dropped into the seat next to Neil.

“Andrew,” Neil smiled, “hey.”

He handed over the candy apple and Andrew took it with barely a second of hesitation, the candy shell cracking under his teeth as he bit into it. The smell of cigarette smoke drifted over. His hair was styled and he was all in black, as usual, with a bit more leather and a gloss to his face like he'd freshly shaved and put on lotion.

Aaron closed his mouth and scrubbed his hands over his face. He couldn't believe Neil and Andrew were having a date, after all he'd told them, right next to him. _He_ was supposed to be the one on a date, supporting his – Katelyn, and taking her out for dinner after. At the very least, they could have just gone somewhere else without telling him. What was he, their chaperone?

Jesus pissing Christ.

He tried to focus on Katelyn and her team, yelling and stamping along with the audience, Neil cursing out their opponents so viciously that Andrew had to grab him by the collar and pull him back into his seat several times. Aaron wondered when the dubious honour of keeping Neil Josten in line had gone over to his twin. Other than that Andrew stayed mostly focused on his phone, and Aaron felt a spike of irritation that he wasn't even taking his date seriously, then wondered if he was texting someone on Grindr or whatever it was he used and swallowed down the disgust rising like bile in his throat.

He took a deep breath. He was here for Katelyn. Whatever Andrew did or didn't do was none of his concern. And Neil was an adult, even if he didn't always behave like one, and could make his own choices.

Katelyn's team, the Vixens, won the match and went a few celebratory rounds on the rink, showing off their skating skills, bowing and throwing kisses at the audience. Their captain, Thea Muldani, opened a bottle of champagne and passed it around, and she and Neil exchanged a friendly wave as they made their way down the stands to congratulate them.

“You were great,” Aaron told Katelyn. She beamed at him and pulled Neil into a sweaty hug, laughing at his perplexed face and ruffling his hair, making it even more disastrous than before.

“Andrew!” she said, more amiably than people usually greeted him, “Renee said you might be here. Is she still thinking of coming to the try-outs next week?”

“Yes,” Andrew said, holding up his phone. “I finally talked her into it.”

“Good work,” Katelyn grinned. “Hey, why don't you guys come have dinner with us, maybe some drinks after? I know an amazing cocktail bar downtown. I wanna celebrate with my best friend and my boyfriend.”

She didn't wait for an answer before turning around and yelling, “Ali! I'm heading out! Can you tell Dan I'll give her wrist guards back on Monday?”

Aaron was still too shocked at hearing her use the B word so casually and didn't have time to complain about her inviting Neil and Andrew along on their date before Katelyn disappeared to get changed. They left the building, Aaron still dazed and trailing behind Neil who seemed to be giving Andrew shit for stealing his shirt and shrinking it in the wash – when the fuck had _that_ happened? And then Katelyn was back, looking splendid in a purple dress and light blazer, and Aaron had to stop himself from glancing over at her all the time so he wouldn't crash the car.

Neil went with Andrew. When they parked in front of the taqueria he emerged from the car wearing Andrew's black leather jacket instead of his denim monstrosity, looking flushed and tousled, and Andrew briefly touched his hand to the back of his neck before they joined Aaron and Katelyn at the door waiting to be seated. Aaron caught Neil's eyes and gave him a pointed look, but Neil quickly busied himself with the menu.

The waitress came and Katelyn ordered in rapid-fire Spanish. Aaron just mumbled something about having the same as her, even though he had a suspicion she'd ordered something with tongue, and Neil practised his own Spanish while Andrew just pointed at what he wanted on the menu.

“This is nice,” Katelyn grinned once the waitress was gone. “I've never been on a double date. Isn't it nice, Aaron?”

He choked a bit on his water and made a non-committal sound. Katelyn and Neil started talking about the next Winter Olympics, leaving Andrew and Aaron to awkwardly eye each other up across the table until their food arrived. Aaron had to admit that his tacos de lengua were every bit as delicious as Katelyn always claimed, and she happily squeezed his hand under the table when she saw that he'd finished his plate in record time. Conversation became a bit easier after that, with Andrew even contributing a little here and there, and before he knew it they were on their way downtown to the bar.

“How did you know about Neil and Andrew?” Aaron asked Katelyn once they were back in the car. Katelyn clicked her seatbelt into place and smiled her little mysterious smile.

“Neil told me,” she said. “Well, you know how he is, it's a bit like pulling teeth. But I got it out of him in the end. Andrew kissed him on the roof of the library, isn't it romantic?”

“Andrew doesn't do romance,” Aaron muttered unhappily. “He's only messing with him.”

“Do you really believe that?”

He was quiet for a while, waiting for the traffic light to turn green.

“You know what I think?” Katelyn said, her dark eyes warm. She had removed her blazer and the light gleamed off her bare shoulders. “I think you're scared for both of them, that's why you're so against this. And I think you should trust them to work it out themselves.”

Aaron swallowed and glanced into the rearview mirror. Andrew's car was right behind him. He could see them kissing – slowly, tenderly, with one of Andrew's hands cupped around the back of Neil's neck. He looked away.

“What if it doesn't work out?”

Katelyn shrugged. “That's always the risk, isn't it? But you'll never know if you don't try.”

“Is that what we're doing?” Aaron asked, stifling a small, tentative smile. “Trying?”

“Isn't it always?” Katelyn said softly.

“You called me your boyfriend.”

Katelyn hummed. The light finally turned green and Aaron couldn't help but notice the lag between him and the car behind them.

“I think I'd like that,” Aaron said, following Katelyn's directions to the bar. “Being your boyfriend.”

“Good,” Katelyn grinned. “Come on, I know a shortcut. Those boys have been making out at every turn, I want a moment with you alone too.”

Aaron's chest swelled with something indescribably light and glorious and he felt like the seams of his shirt should have popped under the strain. They took a sharp turn, losing the car behind them, and Aaron parked in a shadowy alley so he could kiss the plum purple lipstick from Katelyn's mouth in peace.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and comments appreciated! Or talk to me on [Tumblr](https://annawrites.tumblr.com) if you want :)
> 
> !!!Now with [amazing artwork of Andrew and Neil](http://flowerlezbian.tumblr.com/post/171413265026/smoke-he-asked-lingering-on-the-k-in-a-way) by flowerlezbian and [of Aaron and Katelyn](http://tycutiovevo.tumblr.com/post/171767799423/sodas-and-skateboards-palette-for-aaron-and) by tycutiovevo, check it out!!!


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